can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
