if i can run in heels then i can drive
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
