just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
