I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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