i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
