so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
