I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
