He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
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