Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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