Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
