You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize