You're completely useless in the revolution.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
