Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
