i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize