my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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