I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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