its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Also, beer. Big fan.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize