Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
