so that wasnt chicken after all
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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