I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
