terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
