She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
