Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
