I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
