she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
