Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
