how can u be prego again
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
