dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
