tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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