I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
