No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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