If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
