I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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