OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize