No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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