two words: eviction party
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
