Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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