This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
How external is "for external use only"?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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