some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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