he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
