i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
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