I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
