I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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