woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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