I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We had sex on a dog bed..
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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