no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
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