2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize