I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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