If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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