I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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