And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
