The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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