remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
