i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
pop tarts are not kleenex
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
