Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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