I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
