did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
