Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
