I will die if light touches me.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
