He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
