I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I am mentally ready for anal.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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