I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
