She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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