I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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